June 27: Bret Michaels at the Sonoma-Marin Fair

Admit it, man. You’re not going to see Bret Michaels so you can hear “Every Rose Has Its Thorn.” You’re going to see the scantily-clad drunk bimbos in thong bikinis, all clamoring for the attention of a 46-year-old washup with hair extensions before boarding the “River Rock of Love” bus supplied by River Rock Casino. You’re going so you can yell anonymously at him about getting bonked on the head and leveled out at the Tonys earlier this month. You’re not going so you can sing along to “Nothin’ but a Good Time.” You’re going to witness the slow, pitiful decay of American culture—and maybe to revel in its grotesque beauty. “Something to Believe In”? Forget it—schadenfreude, irony and guilty pleasures are the greatest hits when Michaels plays on Saturday, June 27, at the Sonoma-Marin Fair. 175 Fairgrounds Drive, Petaluma. 8pm. Free with $10–$15 fair admission. 707.283.3247. Gabe Meline