Hey, Cletus! Get yer beat-up truck ready for a wild ride wit’ lots of boobies and beer! I know ya’ll been waitin’ for the White Trash Summer Bash, so dress in yer nice ol’ cutoffs and tuxedo T-shirt and c’mon down—there ain’t gonna be no hog tyin’ going on, dagnabbit, but there are other buck-wild contests, like biggest hair, best mullet, an’ you know I’m’a enter the men-only wet T-shirt contest! Ya’ll comprende how crazy them ladies will go for our sexy farmer tans! Then’s the rootin’-tootin’ good times with some perrty ladies, like the iCandy Burlesque Dancers, and dancin’ wit’ DJs Will Magid and Malarkey. Ya’ll better not miss it on Friday, June 14, at Hopmonk Tavern. 230 Petaluma Ave., Sebastopol. $10—$15. 8pm. 707.829.7300.