Feb. 12: The California Bad Boyz at the Last Day Saloon

Oh my god Taylor, look at these guys on this flyer. The ‘California Bad Boyz.’ Oh. My. God. Male strippers. Let’s go. Let’s totally go. You have to come with me! Who cares about your stupid singles mixer that night?! This is girl’s night out. I’m not sitting at home alone on Valentine’s Day weekend watching TiVos of Days and feeling sorry for myself. Here, look at this guy. Total Rico Suave, with the bandana and the rosary. Audrey’d like him. This other guy’s your type, the one three to the right, the fitness instructor. Shut up! He totally is! Remember that Atkins diet guy you dated for way too long? Or look, how about this guy? The “I’m using this black-and-white headshot from 1987 with my gelled hair and Local Motion tank top because I’m 44 now and not as hot” guy? Look look look look look. It’s two hours long. Shut up. I wonder if they serve mojitos! We’re totally going. Call Audrey and Michelle and tell ’em it’s on Friday, Feb. 12, at the Last Day Saloon. 120 Fifth St., Santa Rosa. 9pm. $15–$20. 707.545.2343.Gabe Meline

Sonoma County Library