Born in the summer of ’93, I barely missed out on the “Just Say No” campaign I’ve heard so much about. But I can picture what it was like.
“Aww, what’s the matter, Billy?” asks Sergeant Sober, the Captain Planet look-alike chosen as the movement’s budget-friendly mascot. “What’s got you down?”
Billy, a downcast cartoon child stunted from years in a morose factory town, kicks a rock aside. “I dunno,” he says. “Clyde, the neighbor boy, wants me to try drugs.”
“What? Drugs?” An astounded Sergeant Sober stares at the camera as he tussles Billy’s greasy hair. “Don’t do drugs, Billy. They’re icky.”
“But Clyde and his pop say it’s cool to get high.”
“Silly goose,” chuckles the Sergeant, wiping his hand on his leg. “You don’t need drugs. You can get high on LIFE, Billy!” His nose quivers as he pushes the boy out of frame. “You smell that fresh air? Yum!”
Like the biblical Samson drawing power from his great mane, or Achilles from … well, everywhere but his unarmored foot, our hero needs a source for his goodness. Since his image is being recycled from that of Captain Planet, Sergeant Sober will need to draw upon the power of the land, and—setting jokes aside for a moment—will find no greater wellspring than Bees N Blooms in Santa Rosa.
Ha-ha! You thought this whole thing was about drugs, but it’s not! It’s about bees! And romantic walks among them! Bwahaha!
Well, mostly. In truth, it’s about a super-friendly, sprawling organic farm with a lavender labyrinth, flower gardens and bee hives, that’s also a great place to take a stroll with one’s honey (see what I did there?).
For those in need of making romantic memories for their future self to someday snuggle with, Start Here. It’s a deeply intimate, interpersonal refuge and certainly worthy of sweet, fragrant reflection.—ED
Bees N Blooms, 3883 Petaluma Hill Rd., Santa Rosa. 707.293.8293. www.beesnblooms.com