Things overheard from the midnight show of Twilight in Santa Rosa on November 21, 2008, the night of its official domestic release:“Did she just say ‘Oh my gosh’? How PG.”“They don’t have Asian people in Forks!”“I really don’t approve of the casting of Rosalie.”“Or of Jasper.”“Or the clothes!”“I’m not happy with any of them except for Edward and Mike.”“Edward is a lot cuter than he is in the book. He’s kind of an asshole in the book.”“He’s not sparkly enough!”“They’re gonna make out.”“They can’t make out, it’s PG.”“Hey, they don’t drink beer in the book!”“Isn’t their house supposed to be old? And white? This isn’t how I pictured their house at all!”“Rosalie sucks! Why is she wearing those gloves?!”“Jasper reminds me of Edward Scissorhands.”“I totally pictured a different Carlisle. This guy looks like a weasely snake.”“Did he just say ‘Spidermonkey’?”“I think it was her—yeah! That was Stephanie Meyer!”“Why isn’t she cooking him dinner?”“Because if she cooked him dinner, it would be too boring.”“’Is he indie’?!”“They’re gonna do it.”“They can’t do it. They’re not allowed.”“I wonder if he goes and fucks whores secretly somewhere.”“He’s a virgin! Remember when that one vampire tries to seduce him, and he’s not into it? Seriously, what books were you reading?!”“Charlie’s kind of a dick in this movie.”“What the fuck is this song?! It’s so bad!”“Jasper! He’s so tormented! I love it!”“Their eyes are black when they’re hungry. And they’re red when they’re full of human blood. Didn’t you read the book?”“The second book like 400 pages of ‘Wah, Edward, I’m so sad.’”“The fourth book is stupid. It’s full of all these ‘messages.’”“I heard the movie has to make $40 million for them to make a second one.”“Oh, it’ll make $40 million on opening night.”
.Things Overheard at the ‘Twilight’ Movie Premiere
